Have you ever seen that bit in the Monty Python film Life
of Brian, where Brian, pursued through the desert by hordes
of followers who think he's the Messiah, turns to them and shouts
'Look, I'm NOT the Messiah, now please go away' ? If you saw it
then you'll know what happens next; a silence falls over the
crowd, then a small voice says: 'Only the true Messiah would deny
his divinity...'. In bewilderment, Brian cries: 'What chance does
that give me ? Alright. I AM the Messiah, now GO AWAY!'. This, of
course, only brings the crowd to its feet, screaming: 'He IS the
Messiah!'. Its a Catch 22. In the eyes of his followers, Brian is
most definitely the Messiah, and nothing he can say or do will
convince them otherwise. What, you are probably asking yourself,
has this got to do with Crop Circles ? Actually the answer is
quite a lot. The subject itself has descended into slapstick
comedy, with claim and counter claim as to what is 'genuine' and
what is 'not genuine' being subjected to parry and thrust across
the tables of various groups and individuals the length and
breadth of the country. One of the foremost theories now being
given space in various Circles and UFO magazines is that old
cliche, the Government Cover-Up, or GCU for short. GCUs are the
equivalent of Brian's desperate cry when told that 'Only the true
Messiah would deny his divinity. It works something like this:
Desperate to keep hold of their sinking subject, and faced with
overwhelming (to most sensible folk) evidence that the whole
thing has been one giant joke, the 'believers' start to cry out
GCU ! When the non-believers snort with derision and say 'Of
course there's no GCU - the whole thing's just a hoax; circles
are made by people !', then the True Believers cry: 'That's just
what an agent of a GCU WOULD say ! That PROVES its a GCU !' . You
just can't win !!
Somewhat naturally this brings me to the latest offerings in The
Cerealogist by the CCCS Court Jester George Wingfield.
In it, George Wingfield recycles the same old argument which I've
outlined above, bringing 'Men-in-Black' (MIBs) in as well. As
usual, he's his normal rude self. I don't propose to enter into
any sort of argument or discourse about the meeting between the
'well known meteorologist', CCCS' Ken Brown and the
'MIBs', which Wingfield reads so much into. Wingfield's story
belongs to the script of 'Life of Brian' and any denials will
only be met with the usual cries of GCU !
But while we're on the subject of cover-ups, let me not allow
Wingfield to get away scot-free: he's as guilty of covering up
things as the people he accuses of operating on behalf of the
Government.
Let me take you back, George, to the formation which appeared
near Wroughton in 1992 [Isn't that the one that George was going
to "eat his shirt in public" over ? PF] . I'd been to
the 'Waggon & Horses' for lunch that day, and met up with
photographer (sorry, I meant to say Government Agent) Rob Irving.
Irving told me of the Wroughton formation and accompanied me to
the site. There we met you, George, remember ? You were acting
watch-dog to ensure no-one else entered the formation and
corrupted it. When we inspected the formation I quite clearly
found several obvious 'footprints', which I pointed out to you.
Rob Irving witnessed this. You summarily dismissed the
footprints, and later tried to make out that they'd been made by
Rita Goold and Arthur Mills when they discovered the formation.
You weren't able to comment on the fact that neither Rita or
Arthur's feet matched the prints found at Wroughton. Do you
remember Baltic Farm 1992 as well ? When I arrived you were
proclaiming to all who could hear that the formations there had
been 'made in the space of half-an-hour that afternoon whilst a
farm-worker was nearby'. And do you remember me advising you to
have a word with Busty Taylor ? You must have spoken to Busty
later, George, because you discovered that the formations in
question had been seen the day before when Taylor flew over the
area. I found this out by talking to several members of the
Beckhampton Group before going to Baltic Farm. There was no way
that those circles could have been made that afternoon under the
nose of the farmworker; rather that the farmworker hadn't noticed
the formations when he drove down the field, but saw them when he
drove back and ASSUMED they hadn't been there when he first
passed that way. Obviously you took my advice and the mistakes
didn't get a mention in your 'Circular' article later. But then
neither did you mention that I'd saved you from making a complete
ass of yourself on that occasion. (***) Having mentioned these
little incidents I must now mention that I have been made aware
of letters which Wingfield has circulated to all CCCS
Council Members, in which he names the people who he is convinced
have been making hoax formations. These hoaxers are, of course,
working on behalf of the Government.. etc, etc. I don't feel
inclined to pass comment on these allegations either, because my
denial of involvement (yes, he names me as being a hoaxer !) will
only lead into another round of the 'Life of Brian' syndrome, and
only time will tell who is the REAL Messiah.
So, what of the future for CERES ? I'm glad to announce
that reports of CERES' demise have been greatly
exaggerated, to coin a phrase. CERES has now whittled down
the number of circles believed to be the result of a Meaden
vortex to probably about 1% of known formations. The group intend
to carry out archive research in some depth, accepting the
criticism levelled at us by the Wessex Skeptics in times past.
We've accepted that we have, in the past, been 'conned' by the
hoaxers and are that much the wiser for it. I believe we can
agree with MOST other interested parties in as much as we accept
that the subject has been completely contaminated with hoaxes,
which makes field study a bit of a lost cause. But then, if I'm a
Government Agent, I would say that wouldn't I ?
So, whilst some continue to delve deep into the realms of
mysticism, and George Wingfield entertains us all with his pig's
bladder and silly jokes, some of us will continue to think back
to those balmy summers of the late 1980s/early 1990s and, with
perhaps just a feint sigh of regret, turn to getting on with the
more mundane things in life.
PR.
*** PF Notes: This isn't the first time that George
Wingfield, or John Michell, or any of the alien-intelligence
believers, have omitted to give credit for other people's work.
Remember it was Wingfield who claimed in a letter to Flying
Saucer Review that it was his research that exposed the
highly dubious nature of Frank Barnes' claim to have seen a
"giant grey spaceship-like object" creating a crop
circle at Cheesefoot Head. Nowhere in Wingfield's letter did he
mention the fact that it was my research that had exposed the
glaring problems with the case, not Wingfield's research two
years later. Then there was Wingfield's claim in the Somerset
press (Feb 27th 1992) that he had unmasked the fraudulent story
by "Dave Firestar" that he had seen a multi-coloured
UFO creating a circle at Butleigh Wootton in 1991. Again there
was no mention of the fact that it was CERES who
discovered that the circle had been seen being made by hoaxers
and the police had been called and caught the hoaxers red-handed
(for a full account see CW13). Just what is it with these
rude, so-called researchers that they repeatedly refuse to refer
to other people's work ? The Cerealogist (no 8 page 9)
discusses the circles at Szekesfehervar in Hungary without the
slightest mention of the fact that our own Jenny Randles visited
this site and discovered that two local youths had confessed to
having made the circles (See CW14 pages 7-10) Such actions
only serve to underline the true extent of the public deception
being perpetrated by these so-called "cerealogists".
PF.